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Alone in a Crowd of Others: One Man's Journey with AIDS

Jim Konetsky, living with AIDS, has devoted his life to serving the AIDS community even before he knew his own disease status. This is part 1 of Jim's story. Read part 2 here.

Many people are inspired by a friend fighting a chronic illness and decide to contribute to a related cause. It's one thing to volunteer your time and effort to help those in need, but it's an entirely different thing to do it while battling a life-threatening disease.

Diagnosed with AIDS on January 14, 1995, Jim Konetsky's membership in the AIDS community began much earlier. For years, he has worked both for and with those with AIDS to offer them comfort and support. Over the years, he has witnessed friends' deaths and watched as others pulled away, but through it all he has maintained a drive and conviction to help those living with and fighting the same disease he battles.

Jim's journey began when the world first heard of the acquired immune deficiency syndrome, or AIDS, in the early 80s. As researchers and doctors were trying to figure out what this mysterious virus was, the impact of HIV and AIDS quickly became crystal clear for Jim: two close friends died of the disease in the same week of 1983.

"From that, we kind of got the picture about ourselves," he says.

Jim had been in a long relationship with another man at the time, and while they were both watching their friends die, a mutual fear prevented either of them from getting tested for HIV, "We weren't really that eager to find out about ourselves," he said.

Jim assumed he had the disease, but was afraid to see a doctor for a diagnosis.

"The world was different then," he said. "We didn't understand what this was. We just knew it was quick, it hit fast, people died in a few months and that was that."

While his friend assumed that they were both doomed, Jim, instead, turned his fears outward and began helping others with the disease. "I went into action," he said.

Immediately, Jim saw the hundreds of men and women filling hospices with no one to help, so he volunteered to become their advocate and emotional support.

These hours spent sitting and talking to people with AIDS somehow allowed Jim to sink deeper into denial about his own AIDS status. "I was too busy trying to help people in the hospital get the nurse to check in on them or get their social worker to come back."

A Career of Giving Back
One day, while Jim was volunteering, he met Ganga Stone, a woman who had witnessed first hand the isolation of living with AIDS. A few years earlier, she began hand delivering hot meals to homebound individuals, who could barely open a can, let alone prepare a nutritious, hot meal. Ganga delivered meals mostly to AIDS patients, but soom began serving those with Parkinson's disease, Alzheimer's and multiple sclerosis. The fruits of her labor became God's Love We Deliver, an organization that has so far delivered over five million meals to homebound and otherwise debilitated individuals throughout New York City.

Stone quickly saw Jim's energy and asked him to volunteer. A year later, impressed by his work, Stone hired Jim to work full-time as an advocate for her clients. She also accompanied Jim when he finally decided to see his childhood doctor and get tested for HIV.

"On January 14, 1992, he said to me, 'Jim, I'm not quite sure how say this.' He was very worried, and he didn't know where to go with it," said Jim. But after consulting with a specialist, Jim began various treatments until finding one that has kept his disease at bay so far.

All along, Jim's work at God's Love We Deliver continued.

How does volunteering in the AIDS community help him cope with his own diagnosis? Read part 2 of Jim's story here.